[NATSU screams]
[DAN] I can't believe you fell for that!
[rumbling]
[crash]
Is that all you got?!
Excellent! Now this is the kinda fight
I've been missin!
♪
[HAPPY] Is this really the place?
[LUCY] Yeah, I think so.
[LUCY] There's a line in the "Key of the Starry Heavens"...
"Long and silent had the key rested,
embraced by the sound of reverent prayer."
[MICHELLE] By prayer...?
That does suggest a church of some kind.
Yeah...
But there aren't a lot of places to hide stuff here.
I'll get an Exceed's eye view and
see if I can spot anything.
[NARRATOR] While Natsu's battle with Dan heats up inside
the tomb, Erza encounters something truly grotesque
pressed between the shelves of the Library of Sorcery.
What... is that?
Not... sure.
[BUTT BOSS] YEOW!
Run now!
[WENDY] Whoa...
[CARLA] Who's going to clean this up?
[jiggling]
[shocked yells]
[HAPPY] True Scoundrels, Once Again!
No, it's the Butt Jiggle Gang!
Our Goddess returned!
I'm so happy!
We missed you, Wendy!
[ERZA] Don't move! I take it you're the ones
who did such despicable and horrific things to Wendy?
Horrific? Us?
Do you deny it?
I'm told you forced her to dress in a dreadful manner!
[BUTT BOSS] Are you referring... To her unitard?!
[fart]
What...?! You kept it?!
It was such a gas seeing her
fill this baby out.
What a rumpin' good time!
[steel rings]
[BOTH] She shredded it!
Only monsters would make a young lady
dress in that fashion! You're lucky I didn't shred you!
Do you have any idea what you've done?
Ever since your last meeting...
Carla's been plagued with horrible night terrors
that drive her crazy!
[CARLA] It's true... Every night since then, I've been chased
by a horde of bubble-butted Wendys in black unitards!
[CARLA] And now that nightmare... has come to life!
Stay strong, Carla!
[evil chuckle]
[BUTT BOSS] You've had nightmares, huh?
Lackeys! Huddle up!
[BOTH] Yes, sir!
[BUTT BOSS] Did you hear that, boys?!
They said we're horrifying!
[BUTT LACKEY A] Yeah and we scarred their house cat
for life! That practically makes us living legends!
[BUTT LACKEY B] I've got a rumblin' deep down that needs
to be shared! I say it's about time we go loud and proud, boss!
[BUTT BOSS] We can't crack the seal yet...
Just play it cool for now.
Your fear is only natural, kitty cat...
For you are in the presence of true scoundrels!
[ALL THREE] The Butt Jiggle Gang!
[CANA] Yeah, the name's not as terrifying as you think it is.
[CARLA] If you're done waving your rears at us,
you can start cleaning up the colossal mess you made!
[ALL THREE] Hmm?
[BUTT BOSS] Well, you heard the lady...!
Get to cleanin', lackeys!
[BUTT LACKEY B] But you're the one who knocked 'em over, boss!
Back talkin' me?!
Just for that, you get thirty-six push-ups!
But, Boss!
Shouldn't it be forty sir?
I'm wai-ting!
[BOTH] One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven!
Eight! Nine! Ten! Eleven!...
They're so... dumb.
Is this a comedy act?
[BUTT BOSS] I think they're trying to insult us!
Just for that, we're gonna take their treasure by force!
Now that's how a true scoundrel would do things!
[BUTT LACKEY B] You're so inspiring, Boss!
Is there a reason you stopped doing push-ups?
[BOTH] We just finished!
What exactly are you doing here?
Well...
you can't stop us, so I might as well tell you.
We know all about Fairy Tail's hunt for a super treasure
that'll turn the world on its head.
Every scoundrel's out lookin' for it!
We're gonna snatch it and rule the world!
Then no one's gonna look down
their noses at us again.
[WENDY] Stop it!
Carla!
Why are you wearing that?
[WENDY] I knew I might run into them again someday,
so I prepared accordingly.
At last! Our goddess has returned to us!
It's like a ray of sunshine.
She was the wind beneath our wings.
[WENDY] Did you already forget everything I told you
the last time we met?
You should stop your pursuit of being true scoundrels
and invest in your future!
I know that, deep down, there are good men inside you...
and they're just waiting for the chance to break out and be free!
Don't deny your true selves a chance
to breathe fresh air!
Don't deny our... true selves?
Think back for a moment...
Remember when you were children?
Those were simpler times.
You could run and play with your friends until sundown.
You could share your laughter and dreams
and not worry about tomorrow.
Embrace your true selves,
and you can enjoy that happiness again!
[CARLA] Please tell me she's not being serious about this.
[CANA] I dunno, she looks pretty freakin' serious to me.
God-ess!
Whadda we do now?
Have we been living a lie all of this time?
Are we really just farts in the mighty wind of destiny?
[BOTH] No, sir!
We know that deep down we're true scoundrels
and we embrace it in all of its gaseous glory!
Before you start judgin' us,
you should spend a day... in our unitard!
Show us the Butt Jiggle Gang's "true self"!
What are you asking me?
I'm telling you, if we're supposed to be
playing by your rules,
then the least you could do is show some respect and
follow one of ours. Fair?
Erza! Don't do it!
Fine.
You're doing it? Okay...
Where'd the flower come from?
It's a little souvenir from our picnic earlier.
And It smells as nice as it looks.
It does add a ladylike touch to that plain ol unitard.
Wow! This is surprisingly comfortable.
We are not amateurs!
[ERZA] It's obvious you care about aesthetics...
But I'm curious; does your pride for these suits
go deeper than just their appearance?
What's that?
[ERZA] Simple...
If you're truly the scoundrel you claim to be...
It'll reflect in the way you think.
Therefore, I will conduct a test of your scoundrel-dom.
Start by reciting the finer points of your philosophy.
Uh... Erza...? Do you really think we can afford
to be wasting that kind of time with these guys?
No... But these misguided fools need to be
taught a lesson. And I intend to make sure
they learn it well, even if it takes all day.
If that fails, I'll simply beat it into them.
[WENDY] Now's our chance.
It might sound crazy but I think this is all
a part of Erza's plan.
Why else would she be egging 'em on?
I get the feeling she's trying to distract them so we can
go looking for the clock piece.
Are you sure about that?
It looks like she's just really into it to me.
Well either way, Wendy's got a point...
And we've gotta take advantage of this opportunity.
[CANA] Here, keep this with you.
The moment I find the clock piece, this'll let you know.
[WENDY] Right!
You're staying?!
Well yeah, I am their goddess!
What...? No... Don't tell me you like that getup!
We better get goin'.
[CANA] I'm startin' to think the Legion Platoon
is the source of the leak.
That's what I said.
This is the second time we've been stopped
by wannabe bandits on this mission...
Maybe that was their plan all along.
[CARLA] Perhaps they're causing the very "chaos"
we've been worried about.
There's no point fretting about it...
Let's just focus on what we can do here and now.
"Upon the knowledge of age-old sorcery time does rest."
Looks like we found the spot Lucy told us about.
It matches the clue. And I think this might be
where we should start looking.
Are you sure we'll find it here?
[CANA] The Library of Sorcery is the only place you can
find books full of old magic and techniques like these.
Printing technology didn't exist when most of them
were transcribed; which means there are a lot of
hand-written manuscripts.
And all of these books in this section are about
ancient magic, so it seems like the best place to start.
[CARLA] So the clock piece has to be somewhere among them.
[CANA] Talk about a needle in a haystack...
[collapsing buildings]
[NATSU] Fire Dragon... Roar!
[DAN] Now I can't believe I fell for that!
[NATSU] Fire Dragon... Iron Fist!
[DAN laughs]
Is somethin' funny, tough guy?
[DAN] Yeah, your magic power... It's so weak.
Huh?!
I've been thinking about it ever since our last fight...
Seems like your offensive power is more for show than anything.
Say what?!
Samuel mentioned something interesting...
Is it true you were frozen in time on an island
for seven years?
I'd be willing to bet the farm that's the reason
you'll never be able to beat me.
You wanna test that?
[DAN] You don't get it do you? While you were frozen,
I had seven years to improve my skills!
I'm a completely different caliber of wizard...
A seven year old fossil ain't got nothing on me!
Keep talkin' 'cause it'll make pounding you
even sweeter!
It'd take you seventy years to match me in power!
If you want proof, I can give ya a taste!
Fire Dragon... Brilliant Flame!
Nice try!
[grunts and groans]
What the...
[grunts and groans]
[crashes]
[explosion]
[groans]
Natsu?!
[HAPPY] What happened?
You okay?!
[armored footsteps]
[DAN] So that's where you were hiding, Looly baby!
[LUCY] Not him again!
[HAPPY] He loves those silly pet names.
Gimme some sugar!
I've had enough of you!
Butt-out! Gimme a second, man!
[shocked gasp]
Serves you right for gettin' in my way, ya pipsqueak!
[NATSU, high-pitched] I'll pip your squeak, jerk wad!
[DAN] Now then, where were we?
[LUCY] Stay awaaaay!
You heard the lady!
I guess you're not a quick learner either, kid. Too bad!
[screams]
Natsu!
[HAPPY] Uh-oh... My bad...
Happy...? Are you doing that on purpose?
Not you, too, Michelle!
[sobbing]
[BUTT LACKEY B] I never knew our uniforms
held such a deep secret!
Don't you forgetit! This suit is your life!
[BOTH, sobbing] Yes, Boss!
[WENDY] What should we do now? His story was so bizarre
I'm not really sure how to respond to it.
[ERZA] Are you kidding me?
What a lame story. As a kid, you spilled something
on your shirt, so you smeared black ink
all over it to hide the stains and avoid punishment?
Honestly, I find it ridiculous.
It's a prime example of scoundrel-dom!
[ERZA] Nonsense! You are hardly a scoundrel at all.
[BUTT BOSS] What was that?!
You heard me... A true scoundrel wouldn't
allow his men to be so emotionally dependent.
If you insist on calling yourself their leader...
then you must strive to set the highest example possible!
Hey, let's not forget why we came here, okay?
On the ground! One hundred push-ups!
A hundred?!
Yes, if you're going to force your men to do them...
then you need to set an example first!
Or are you a half-hearted scoundrel?
If you aren't, you'll give me a full hundred, easy!
This is your chance to prove me wrong!
You little fart! Just butt out would ya?
Beat her!
Remember, you're the one bringing the stench!
So serve her up a pungent dose of reality!
But a true scoundrel wouldn't care
about a challenge from-
[BOTH] Please, Boss, you have to beat her! For us!
[BUTT BOSS] Those puppy dog expressions!
They're tearing up my insides!
I can't take it!
All right, men... I'll do it for you!
Now watch closely, boys...
I'm only doin' this one time!
Just look at him go!
That's our boss for ya!
'Scuse me... You might want to pace yourself
a little bit.
[NARRATOR] It seems the Library of Sorcery
is in a state of confusion.
Meanwhile... Lucy and her team find themselves
dealing with confusion of a different sort...
[DAN] Keep shootin' at me...!
All you'll end up doin' is bringing these ruins down
on top of your thick skulls!
He's got a point, we can't use magic!
Put it away, Romeo.
Crap!
[DAN] Loopsy!
Looks like we've got a chapel now...
Let's consummate our marriage in the presence of God!
[LUCY screams]
I'm outta here!
[DAN] Don't fight it!
[ROMEO] Leave her alone, ya creep!
[LUCY] Don't just stand there! We have to do something!
We need to try and get him out of the building,
if we can.
He doesn't know the clock piece
might be hidden in here, so we still have a chance to get it.
But how are we supposed to pull that off?
I've got an idea!
I think I have the same idea.
[LUCY] Awesome! Let's hear it then!
[NATSU] Aw, I want in on it, too!
[BOTH] You'll act as the bait!
Bait...? For what?
[HAPPY] We have to get Dan to lower his guard somehow!
[MICHELLE] And you're the obvious choice!
[NATSU] Come on! Just do it!
You're suggesting... what exactly?
Matrimony!
Not happening!
[MICHELLE] But we need you to turn his feelings
for you against him!
I'll do it.
[LUCY] Dan!
[DAN] Yes... Looeypie?
Please... take me away.
[HAPPY] What's up?
[MICHELLE] I don't think she was sexy enough.
[HAPPY] Yeah... We might be askin' too much of her.
[heart throbbing]
[DAN] Oh, yeah! Blast off!
[DAN] Love me!
[giggles] Catch me if you can, darling!
Oh, you know I will, butter cup!
And then I'm gonna...
We got him!
Quick, while he's distracted!
'Kay Natsu! Now's your chance!
[NATSU] Hurry and get me above him, Happy!
Aye, Sir!
[LUCY giggles]
When it comes to strength, you might have
an advantage over me one-on-one. But when we all work together...
Even the strongest wizards
can't hold a candle to us! Romeo!
[ROMEO] Here!
Fire Dragon... Iron Fist!
Now that's how it's done!
Aw yeah!
[LUCY] Phew!
I like him much better when he's passed out.
[LUCY] What the-?!
[MICHELLE] The wall is shining!
[LUCY] Whoa!
[NATSU] That thing's gigantic!
[ROMEO] What is it?
[LUCY] It's the clock piece!
[NATSU] So that's where it was hiding!
[MICHELLE] Natsu's last attack must've caused it
to be revealed!
You got two birds with one stone!
Well yeah, that was my plan the whole time kid!
Yeah, sure... We finally found one!
We're still in the game.
[HAPPY sobs]
What's wrong? Why are you crying?
I'm just so proud cuz this is the first time
one of Lucy's seduction plans worked!
[LUCY] It was your plan, you walking hair ball!
[HAPPY sobs]
At last... I've found it!
[BUTT BOSS] Thir... ty... eight...!
[BUTT LACKEY A] Hang in there, Boss!
[BUTT LACKEY B] You can do it! Just sixty more!
[BUTT BOSS] Nope... I'm pooped.
[ERZA] You're nothing but talk, after all.
[WENDY] Maybe you should rest a bit.
I ain't outta gas yet!
The Butt Jiggle Gang's true power lies... In these babies!
Get ready to drop a load!
[LACKEYS] Right!
[ALL] Gas Butt Triple... Ecstasy!
[WENDY] Erza! Look out!
[massive fart]
[farts]
[rumbling]
My nose is burning!
[CARLA] I was hoping I'd never have to smell that again.
[CANA screams]
[CARLA] Cana! Are you okay?
[CARLA] Hey look...! What's that?!
[CANA] A secret passageway...
[CANA running]
Guess we have that stench to thank for this!
We'll see... This path could lead to a trap!
[CANA] I think we just struck gold.
[CARLA] Well what do you know...?
I suppose we should be thanking that horrible smell, after all.
[evil laugh]
Now do you realize our power?
[ERZA] What a... crude technique...
[ringing]
Looks like Cana and Carla found the clock piece!
[BUTT BOSS] The treasure, huh? In that case...
[BUTT BOSS yells]
[fart]
[BUTT BOSS] Try Point-blank... Ecstasy!
[massive fart]
[WENDY] Erza, No!
[WENDY sobs]
[CARLA] So... how are we supposed to carry it?
[CANA] Uh... well... hmm...
Gas 'em!
[farts]
[rumbling]
[explosion]
[laughs]
[BUTT BOSS] Howdya like that?!
Butts talk and losers walk, ladies!
[yells]
Do you know what you've done?
You've destroyed one of my precious memories!
[ERZA cries]
Divine Retribution!
[BUTT BOSS] You haven't smelled the last of us!
[WENDY] They're gone now.
[CARLA] Hopefully for good this time.
[CANA] You alright? You seem out of it.
[ERZA] I'm still reeling from their attack.
Well, now that we have this...
How are we supposed to carry it?
[ERZA] Huh?
Oh, that's easy...
I can pack it along with the rest of my things.
[LEVY] Why haven't we found it yet?
Prob'ly 'cause you're workin' your mouth
instead of your arms!
[JET] He's got some nerve talkin' to Levy like that!
[DROY] Yeah, but we need him to find the clock piece.
Is something wrong?
[GAJEEL] I get the feelin' we're not alone.
Uh-oh...
[DROY] Where are they? Can you tell?
[SAMUEL] Well... It appears that I've been spotted.
[LEVY] He's with the Legion Platoon!
[GAJEEL] Why are you here?!
[SAMUEL] That should be obvious...
We're after the same thing, aren't we?
I've come to claim it.
♪
[HAPPY] Alright, it's time for a Bro Test:
You and I are both hungry, and there are two fish
in front of us. What would you do?
[NATSU] I'd eat two fish.
[HAPPY] What if there were four fish?
[NATSU] Then I'd eat four.
[HAPPY] Whoa! Epic Bro fail! Are you trying to tell me
you'd let your 'lil buddy starve to death?!
[NATSU] Whaddya mean? I'd save some for ya!
[HAPPY] You've heard of math before, right?
[HAPPY and NATSU] Next Time: Defying Calculation!
[NATSU] Okay, look, if I eat the meat and you eat the bones
then both of us get half of each fish, right?!
[HAPPY] It takes guts to be that stupid. Bro pass.