[colossal footsteps]
♪
[NATSU] Hey, guys...! It's time for something special!
[KAIN] This is Kain, and you're watching the
Sugary Sweet Mail Corner, where I read your letters
and you watch me stuff my face.
Alrighty, then... Our First letter...
"Could you please explain Grimoire Heart's ultimate goal?"
Oh, well, uh... I guess I can answer that...
Our official orders are to capture Lord Zeref,
and to whip Fairy Tail like a barrel of butter.
Our next writer asks...
"What type of girl is Gray attracted to...?
Also, why isn't he doing the post card segment?
'Cause he'd be less of an eye sore."
Oh, yeah? Well, this is my segment, so poo on you!
Are you taking me off the air?!
[HAPPY] Back to our story!
Previously on Fairy Tail, Lucy told Cana where to find Mavis'
grave and Cana thanked her by knockin' her out cold!
What's goin' on here?!
Lucy Fire!
[KAIN] Heave... Ho!
[LUCY] Hold on... Did I miss something...?
Where'd the wrestler come from?!
Don't tell me this guy's one of the Seven Kin?!
Cana...? Where'd she go?!
Where is my friend, dough boy?
[KAIN] The ladies room maybe?
What have you done with her?
[KAIN] Listen, there's no reason for you to be worried
about your little friend right now.
Why...? Do you know somethin' that I don't?
I know you're not gonna live long enough to see her again.
[LUCY] Okay, I'm totally confused. Was I sleeping
a minute ago?
How'd I lose track of Cana?
I hope she isn't dealing with another one of these creeps.
I dunno what's goin' on... But I need to take this guy down asap.
[KAIN] Ya know glarin' at me like that
ain't gonna save ya...!
You might think it's intimidating... but it's not.
Do you have any idea who I am lady...?
I'm Kain Hikaru, one of the deadly
Seven Kin of Purgatory...! I'm super strong and stuff.
[LUCY] Strength doesn't mean jack squat!
To a member of Fairy Tail like me...
facing a strong opponent's just another challenge...
I'll take you on... and I'll defeat you.
First... answer one question.
I feel... something bristly on my head, do you see anything?
[LUCY] Are you talking about your hair?
Oh, great... Another weirdo.
Fine... You asked for it now...
Prepare to face my Witching Hour Curse magic...
Ya shoulda run while you had the chance!
[LUCY] Awkward and creepy... What have I gotten myself into?
[childish laughter]
Before I destroy you,
do you mind giving me a strand of your hair?
[LUCY] Huh?
Come ooon... If you don't give me a strand of your hair,
then I can't curse you with my cursy doll.
[LUCY] Yeah... Not happening.
[KAIN] All I need is one flimsy, little strand, and Mr. Cursy
will let me control you however I want.
You'll be pudding in my hands...
Mmm... pudding.
Tellin' me freaky stuff like that isn't gonna help you
get your hands on my hair!
You're just realizing this now?!
Besides, everybody knows that voodoo dolls are bogus...
You can't scare me with a bluff, doughboy.
Huh...? That's not his name...
I already told you it's Mr. Cursy; get it straight, lady...!
You don't have to be rude just 'cause I wanna kill you.
[LUCY] Uh, no...
I meant 'bluff' as in an 'exaggeration'.
You know, like telling people you're 'bloated' instead of fat.
Wait, are you calling me a liar? 'Cause that's even worse!
[LUCY] I think I just lit a short fuse on a stick of stupid.
This guy is a total nut job!
If that's what you think, then give it a try for yourself!
Wha...?! Are you messin' with me?!
[KAIN] We'll use my bristle for demonstration.
Just stick it on Mr. Cursy's head, like this.
[NARRATOR] As you may have guessed, when Kain refers to
his "bristle", he's talking about his dry, frizzy hair.
He's ready!
[LUCY] I seriously hope this creep doesn't reproduce.
Now go ahead and give it a try!
[KAIN] There... See...!
Do you feel the power...?
You can apologize to me anytime now...
Feel free to give him plenty of hugs and kisses, too.
By the way, I'm startin' to get hungry, so can we fight later?
Okay, that's enough, lady!
Hey... It's my turn now!
Break-dance spin...! How about some yoga...?
That's right, feel the burn...! You can do it, tubby!
[KAIN] You witch! Gimme Mr. Cursy!
[LUCY] What's the rush...?
There're still plenty of embarrassing poses
we haven't tried yet.
Yeah baby...! Like that...? Check it.
You're not supposed to enjoy it!
Ya know what?! Screw you!
All right... Now I'm angry...
And you can just forget about asking me out on a date,
you hear me...?
I won't waste my feelings on a bully who won't share her toys!
Trust me, I'll find a way to get over it!
It's time for a non-stop ride on the Kain Pain Train! Choo-choo!
Chugga-chugga-chugga- chugga-chugga-chugga!
Sorry, but I'm putting the brakes on this trip!
Don't run away from me...!
Why can't you accept my feelings for you?!
[LUCY] I'll haveta fight big and creepy with big and creepy!
Open...! Gate of the Golden Bull!
Get him, Taurus!
[TAURUS] Moo!
Celestial Spirit magic... And an axe swinging moo-cow?
Listen up, Heifer...
The only bovine who's gonna plough Miss Lucy's pasture
is the beefcake in front of ya.
Y'know, I haven't had steak in a while.
Is it okay if I take a bite?
No, but you can kiss my flank while I beat you!
Hey Taurus...!
Show this doll-lovin' sumo reject we don't take any bull!
Then, how's about a peek at that skirt steak?
[KAIN] Dodoskoi!
How did chunky style get the drop on you?!
I dunno... but I'm tenderized... Smoooches.
[KAIN] My appetite's roaring and I'm suddenly in the mood
for strip steak!
[LUCY] Strip what?!
[KAIN] Get back here!
[LUCY] What's with this guy?! He's stronger without magic!
And how's someone his size so light on his feet?!
His feet...? Wait a minute... I got it!
Alright...! Open Gate of the Archer! Sagittarius!
Yep...! Howdy-doo, my lady!
Horse meat?! Yummy!
[LUCY] Quick... Aim for his stubby legs...! Trip him up!
[SAGITTARIUS] Righty-o! I'm not letting you get your hands on
lady Lucy, or your chopsticks on me!
[KAIN] Dadastan!
He deflected them?!
No way!
I'm... beaten...! Toodily-doo, my lady...!
[LUCY] Okay, now I'm angry... Open, Gate of the Scorpion!
Scorpio!
Been awhile... but I'm still wicked... Oh yeah!
Can we make this quick...?
Me and Aquarius are having our own little island adventure...
and I'd hate to leave her hanging ten... ya feel me?
By all means, get back as fast as you can.
I don't wanna give her any more reasons
to start plotting my demise.
Just cause you're on a trip with your girlfriend doesn't mean
you gotta rub it in my face...! Gah!
[SCORPIO] Sand Buster!
I could go for a grilled scorpion but I'd rather not
have all this sand!
Aw man...! That is wicked nasty!
So, uuuh... what now?
[KAIN] Dodoskoi!
Hey Lucy... since my sand ain't worth squat,
I'll be getting' back to my bahama mama...
That cool? Wicked...!
So not cool! This blows. I'm running out of spirits!
[KAIN] Mr. Cursy still has my bristle on his head...
So what do you think would happen if, say...
I could change what his body is made of?
He's made cursing himself an advantage?!
[KAIN] Change, Mr. Cursy...! I'm gettin tired of being iron...
Let's go with light! Shining Dodoskoi!
You can't defeat me, lady... I may not look very tough,
but I'm still one of the Seven Kin!
Better summon something tastier before I really get mad!
[LUCY] Well, he's not much of a fighter
but I bet he'll make for a good distraction.
Open, gate of the Little Dog!
Nicola!
Oh, It's so cute, I could just die...!
I just wanna pick him up and hold him and squeeze him
and cuddle him and...
Gimme the yummy widdle thingy!
Guess my plan backfired!
Help me out here, Cancer!
Long time, no see... baby.
Holy crab legs!
What's the deal, you don't write or call and your hair needs
a trim in the worst way...
Now, how's about we start with some deep conditioning?
I see you're just as clueless as ever... Go over and fight tubby.
[CANCER] Sorry baby but I've got a fear of pots
and boiling water.
Well, get it over it 'cause I need you to give him
a haircut so bad, he'll run away in shame.
You got it, baby! Chop! Slice!
Like your haircut, baby?!
What...?! No way!
How did you wear down my babies... baby?
My bristles haven't seen shampoo since the stone age, pal.
[CANCER] That ain't something to be proud of...
[CANCER] Catcha ya later, baby!
'Kay... Only one shot left... Get 'em, Aries!
I'll do my best...
You better have food for me...!
[ARIES] Sorry... I wish I could satisfy you.
Wait a minute, why are you apologizing to me?
[ARIES] Well, because... You're starving...
and I can't do anything to help you.
Sorry!
Please, don't go!
[IMAGINARY KAIN] My Darling... I hate to see you cry...
Don't you know how much I love you?
[ARIES] You do?
Yes...! With all my heart!
[ARIES] Will you hold me in your massive arms?
Are you kidding me...?! Of course I will, dear!
[ARIES] Kain, my love!
That's my, girl! Run into my arms, sweetheart!
Aries... Thanks for filling my life with wonderfully wooly joy.
I know we just met today... but I love you!
Lay it on him.
Go! Wool Bomb!
I hope that I've properly served you, Miss Lucy.
Yeah, you did great...! I never knew you were such
a good actress; where'd you learn how to do that?
Oh, Leo taught me!
Turn on the waterworks, and men'll be putty in your hands.
Then you hit 'em with a surprise attack!
Trust me, this trick'll make you an asset to Lucy.
Yeah... remind me to talk to him.
[KAIN] Why, Aries...?! I know I can be clingy,
but why did you have to break my heart?!
Dadastan!
I think we made him angry.
[LUCY] There's no stopping this guy, is there?!
[KAIN] Dodoskoi!
[ARIES] I'm so sorry!
Fine, then... I'll have to satisfy my hunger...
with a full-course dinner of pain and suffering.
Mr. Cursy, change into cotton!
Last stop on the Kain Pain Train! Self-reinforcement! Iron!
[HAPPY] Natsu? Are you all right?
[NATSU] I'm fine. Quit freakin' out, 'lil buddy...
Her hits ain't even hurtin' me.
[ULTEAR] You're kidding yourself
if you think I'm going all out right now...
I could have destroyed you, but I owe you for Galuna Island
and I always make good on my debts.
Whatever...
You're not any stronger than you were last time.
Keep talking, little man...
It'll be that much sweeter when I shut you up for good.
Look out below!
What the-?!
Natsu!
What the heck are you doin' here?!
I don't need any help taking her down!
I'm not offering...
But thanks for getting the marshmallow off my back.
I can't believe you didn't see her get a face-full of dirt...!
It was priceless!
You're gettin' a face-full of my fist if you don't shut up!
Kain... care to tell me what you're doing here?
Oh, yeah, sorry...
I was fightin' that girl and I almost finished her off.
Looks like she's been giving you a hard time, too.
I saw her first... Hands off.
You have fun with that.
[HAPPY] Natsu hasn't landed a single hit!
There's no way he can beat her.
[NATSU] I can, too...! I was just biding my time, ya know?
[HAPPY] In that case,
I guess you can handle the two of 'em on your own.
Yeah, I could, but since Lucy's here I'll throw her a bone.
Now don't get me wrong, we're still rivals when it comes
to completing the S-Class trial.
But... I don't mind calling a truce for now.
[LUCY] Boy, teamin' up with you guys sure brings back memories.
[HAPPY] Kinda reminds me of our first adventure in Hargeon.
[NATSU] I'm all fired up now!
Are you ready, Lucy?
You know it, Natsu!
Don't forget about me!
[KAIN] Quit actin' all buddy-buddy!
It's driving me crazyyyy!
[KAIN] My belly's rumblin'.
[LUCY] We're really taking on two of them at once
I'm all fired up now!
That does it...! I'll take care of these bratty kids;
just leave 'em to me...!
First I'm gonna filet those two, and then...
I'll barbeque their little, blue dog!
Forget it, Buddha belly! We're stickin' with two-on-two!
Uh... Actually, I wouldn't mind taking 'em on one at a time.
I'm not a dog, but at least someone acknowledged me.
Very well, I leave them to you... Destroy them...
I will take Zeref to Master Hades so we
can continue our plans.
That's great news; I didn't realize you had found him yet!
Oh no...! We have to stop her...!
If she gets away with him we're all screwed...
They wanna bring about some "Grand Magic World"
and kill all non-wizards!
That sorry sack of tears still has to pay
for messin' with my scarf...
He's not going anywhere until I get my revenge!
Let's get this party started!
[KAIN] Dodoskoi!
No, Natsu!
[ULTEAR] Kill them quickly... We've no time to waste.
Show them the full fury of the Seven Kin...
Head back to the ship as soon as
you're done decorating the forest with their entrails.
No way...! I have a stomach to fill and the main course
just got served...
There won't be any leftovers to decorate with.
[NATSU] Bring it on! I've got the porker, Lucy!
'Kay, guess that means I'm goin' after her!
[KAIN] Ka-shing!
[NATSU] Hey, What are you doin'? She's gonna get away!
[LUCY] Look, I'm tryin' to move but I can't seem to budge!
[childish laughter]
I snagged one of your bristles while I was chasing you earlier.
But... How did you...?!
[KAIN] Now that you and Mr. Cursy are connected,
it's time for me to serve up your just desserts.
What was the first thing you did to me...? Oh yeah!
Show us those funky moves!
[LUCY] No!
Do you have any idea what's goin' on here?
Just looks like a couple of friends bustin' a move.
Oh, we've passed the 'friends' stage at this point, doggie.
[LUCY] Keep dreamin', bristle butt!
Aw, don't be so shy...!
You love to dance... and pose for me, don't you...? Yes.
[LUCY] Cut... It... Out!
Looks like you're enjoying it, if you ask me.
No, it's all in your head!
For some reason, whenever diaper man does something to that doll,
it happens to Lucy, too!
Whoa... That's cool.
[NARRATOR] Death curse magic... this Lost Magic excels
at inflicting lethal jinxes onto its victims.
The Lullaby flute,
created by Zeref, is another example of a cursed object.
Even though Mr. Cursy doesn't appear to effect more than
one target at a time, in the right hands,
this terrifying magic could re-shape the fate of the world.
Did you hear that...?! We're totally screwed!
That's... not cool!
Hippity hoppity widdle wabbit.
C'mon, knock it off!
Make her tickle herself silly!
Hey...! Do you wanna die?!
I think that's exactly what he should do!
[LUCY] Natsu! Outta the way!
[LUCY] Are you copping a feel?!
[LUCY] You deserved that one!
Wow, she's man handling Natsu like Edolas Lucy...
And she wasn't nearly that hard core!
What the heck are you doing, Lucy?!
It's not me; it's that creepy doll!
[NATSU] That hurt.
Okay, this isn't as fun as it looked.
Would you just stay still?!
Geez...! When did you get so strong...?!
Either you've been doing extra push-ups or that doll thing
is giving you a major boost.
Don't you two have any decency?! Quit being cuddly and kissy
in the middle of a battlefield!
[BOTH] We're not doing either of those, you perv!
Whatever, they're totally in love.
[KAIN] Now you got me steamed! Fine...!
You wanna get all handsy in front of me...?! Take this!
I'll make you hug your boyfriend so hard
his spine turns to jelly...!
There you go! Put the squeeze on your main squeeze...!
Stretch him like he's made of taffy!
This is just a taste of the power of
Witching Hour Curse magic...
Your future is looking very dark indeed.
Mr. Cursy...!
Why does everything I love always run away from me?!
I managed to snag the doll away,
what do you guys want me to do with it?!
That stupid, blue dog can fly?!
Nice goin', Happy!
Awesome!
[LUCY] You're so dead!
[KAIN] That's my doll!
[NATSU] It's mine now, bub!
Fire Dragon... Talon!
What gives...?! How is he so fast?!
These Grimoire Heart creeps are super strong...!
I never would've thought diaper man could overpower Natsu!
Did you honestly think a wimpy official guild could go toe
to toe with the likes of us?! Dodoskoi!
Natsu!
[NATSU] I'm stuck!
It's no good... I can't get out!
[LUCY] I'll summon Virgo to help set you free!
No...
Not now... This is not the time... to run outta power!
Lucy! Behind you!
Run away!
Leave her alone...! Come... on!
[KAIN] Relax, little guy,
you've got a front row seat to tonight's execution.
[NATSU] You bastard!
Let her go! Take that, and that, and that, and that, and that,
You'll join her on the grill soon enough.
I gave it a shot... but he's too strong...
Happy...
Get outta here, Lucy...!
You've gotta chase down that broad or we'll lose her!
Don't worry about me, just keep running and don't look back!
No way!
[LUCY] I refuse to run away... I won't do it...
I'd rather stay here with you...
I can't think of anything that would make me happier.
[KAIN] I guess that's one way of saying goodbye...
I can't wait to pop that cute, little head of yours off.
[NATSU] You let go of her!
Careful... You'll break my concentration...
I might not squeeze enough the first time.
Whoa...! My body's moving all by itself!
Dodge him, Lucy!
[LUCY] Too far! That's way too far!
Available for the first time ever,
it's the fully-poseable Lucy action figure!
[LUCY] Did you forget that I have joints?
Or are you trying to be cruel and heartless?!
[NATSU] Quit complainin'! You're beating him!
He's right...! We might win after all!
Whoa... My pyro urges are tingling like crazy!
[NATSU] Fire Dragon... Iron Fist!
Chill out! This is gonna be the greatest thing ever...
if you live!
Whaddya mean "if"?!
[NATSU] Happy!
Aye!
Stop...! I don't wanna play with you guys anymore!
It's time for Max Speed!
Aye, sir!
Okay... You guys suck!
[HAPPY] Max Speed!
[KAIN] I gotta bad feeling about this...
[LUCY] Screw you both! Next time I get to set you guys on fire!
Special technique... Lucy fire!
[NARRATOR] For those who didn't get that.
Using Mr. Cursy,
Natsu and Happy fused their magic power with Lucy...
effectively turning her into a comet of destruction,
and allowing her to defeat Kain Hikaru.
Thanks... I've had enough... I'm full now...
[NATSU] He's down for the count!
[HAPPY] Aye, sir!
We did it!
Now it's time... for...
A victory pose! Aw, yeah!
Guys... Haven't I been through enough today?!
♪
[HAPPY] Sorry Natsu, but I'm not gonna make it...
I can't move a muscle...
[NATSU] Pull yourself together, Happy! You can't drop out of
a fight before you've even done anything!
I mean, you can but that'll make you a coward.
[HAPPY] Did you sharpen that tongue before you
cut me with it?
I'm backin' off 'cause I've been hoggin' the spotlight lately
and I wanna share it with you.
[NATSU] Can't share what you don't have.
[BOTH] Next time: Dead-End of Despair!
[HAPPY] Fine then! I'll keep it all to myself!
I tried to be nice
but you've forced me to go all Catmander on ya!
[NATSU] Oh no! What're you gonna do? Cough a hairball on me?