"Assassination" "Class 3-E"
"Roll Book"
Now then...
...let's get started.
Student on duty, on your command.
S-Stand up!
Attention!
Bow!
Good morning.
Fire all you like--I'll just be taking attendance.
Isogai?
Here!
I'm sorry, you'll have to speak up with all this gunfire.
Here!
Okajima?
Here!
Okuda!
Here!
Kataoka?
Here!
Kayano?
Here!
Kanzaki!
Here!
All right.
No tardies. Excellent!
That makes me very happy.
He's too fast.
So the whole class shooting at him doesn't work?
We
are killers.
And our target
is our teacher.
Too bad. Not a single bullet hit its mark today, either.
Methods that rely on sheer numbers lack any individual thought.
Line of sight, barrel position, finger movement--
each of these is far too simple.
You've got to be more inventive!
Otherwise...
...you'll never be able to kill me at my max speed of Mach 20.
But, like, see...
No way did you seriously dodge all of those!
I mean, these are just BB's.
You coulda just stood there grittin' your teeth as they hit you.
Yeah! That's right!
Gather up the BB's and hand them over.
I told you: these may be harmless to you...
...but they're special anti-me BB's developed by the government.
If one hits me, it can slice through my cells like they were tofu.
Of course, they regenerate a few seconds later.
Then again, you could end up shooting your eyes out.
No shooting in the classroom unless you're trying to kill me.
I do hope you can kill me--before graduation, that is.
Now then, let's put away the guns and BB's and start on our work.
Class 3-E of Kunugigaoka Junior High School: the assassination classroom.
Another day, another class bell rings.
"Episode 1: Assassination Time"
Now, here's the question:
Isogai!
Y-Yes, sir?
Which of these four tentacles is not like the others?
Um... the blue one?
Correct! Only the "who" in the blue sentence is a relative pronoun.
--A relative pronoun qualifies the noun right before it, so here,
--Hey, Nagisa. --A relative pronoun qualifies the noun right before it, so here,
--"who is standing over there" is describing "boy" over here.
--The crescent moon's out, even though it's daytime. --"who is standing over there" is describing "boy" over here.
How did we end up like this?
Two things happened at once as our third year began.
The first was the moon suddenly exploding into a crescent.
"Breaking" "NASA Reporting: Most of Moon Missing?"
We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news.
We've just gotten word that about 70 percent of the moon
has been vaporized into nothing. I repeat...
Will we have only a crescent moon to look at for the rest of our lives?
And the second was this:
How do you do?
I'm the one who blasted your moon.
I plan to do the same to the Earth next year.
Now I'm your teacher. Nice to meet you.
There are at least six things wrong with this picture!
The feeling was unanimous.
I'm Karasuma from the Ministry of Defense.
First, please understand that what I'm about to say is a state secret.
Let me be blunt:
I want you to kill this creature.
Um...
What is that? Is that the alien or whatever that came to attack us?
How rude! I'll have you know I was born and raised on Earth!
He was?
I'm afraid I can't discuss the details, but he's telling the truth.
Come March next year, this creature who smashed the moon
will destroy Earth as well.
Only the world's leaders know about this.
If news of this guy gets out there, we'd be looking at a global panic.
You've got to kill him in secret before that happens.
In other words...
...an assassination.
But this guy...
...is extremely fast!
You try to kill him...
...and he ends up grooming your eyebrows instead--immaculately!
This superbeing has the power to turn a full moon into a crescent.
His speed tops out at Mach 20!
In short, if he gets away,
we'll be left helpless, awaiting our destruction.
And that's no fun.
So I made your government an offer:
No killing me.
Instead, I'll teach Class 3-E at Kunugigaoka Junior High School.
What? Why?
We don't know what he's after.
But we were forced to agree,
on the condition that he doesn't harm any of you students.
"Old Campus"
We have two reasons:
First and foremost, coming to a classroom every day
lets us keep an eye on him,
and second, it gives some thirty people the opportunity to kill him
from extremely close range.
Nakamura...
Didn't I tell you not to let assassination interfere with your studies?
Sorry...
As punishment, go stand in the back!
Why did this creature become our teacher?
Why should we have to assassinate him?
These cries faded with word of one final condition.
Success will be rewarded with ten billion yen.
It's only right.
A successful assassination will literally save the Earth.
Luckily, he doesn't think much of you.
See? Those green stripes mean he's looking down on you!
What the hell kind of skin is that?!
Obviously! If the government can't kill me, how could you?
Even when they sent their cutting-edge fighter jets after me...
...I ended up giving them a coat of wax right there in midair!
What's with all the grooming?
You must find a chink in his defenses and strike at it.
You'll have weapons and ammo that won't hurt humans, but will work on him.
You must keep this secret from your family and friends.
There's no time to lose.
If the Earth should disappear, we'll have nowhere left to run.
And that's about it! Now let's make the most of your one remaining year!
We only have a year.
If we don't manage to assassinate this guy,
Earth will be history.
Ah, lunchtime!
I'll just pop over to China for some mapo tofu.
Any aspiring assassins are welcome to hit me up on my cell.
Let's see... if he's traveling at Mach 20...
...it'll take maybe ten minutes to get to Sichuan, home of mapo tofu.
Guess no missile could shoot that down.
Heck, that octopus even grades tests while moving faster than sound!
Seriously?!
"English Quiz" "Perfect answer!! Double octopus!" Mine came back with a drawing on it.
Don't you think he's pretty good at teaching, though?
Right? He taught me math after class and I did great on my test!
Yeah, but...
...we are the E Class.
Tryin' our best won't do much.
True, he was a super octopoid creature and our assassination target,
but...
...for whatever reason, he does a perfectly normal job of teaching.
And though we're impromptu killers, we're perfectly normal students...
but the E Class is a little different from the rest.
Hey, Nagisa.
Come with us. It's time to put our assassination plan into action.
That octopus's face changes color according to his mood, right?
Did you do those observations I told you to?
More or less. We know it's striped green when he's feeling confident.
"A: A" "K: kiha" "B: bara"
When we give a wrong answer, it's dark purple.
"A: Akiyama" "K: Kiyohara" "B: Burkleo" A right answer makes it go bright scarlet.
But what's really interesting is after lunch...
I don't need to know all that.
I have a plan... and when he lets his guard down the most,
you are going to carry it out.
M-Me? But...
Don't be such a goody-goody. We're the E Class--
the misfits that can't keep up at this famous prep school.
They call us... the End Class.
"The End Class" They call us... the End Class.
"Old Campus"
Every day, they send us to this isolated
mountaintop campus, discriminating against us like we're scum.
When would us losers ever in our lives get another chance
to score a cool ten billion yen?
We're gonna make it--make it through this crappy situation...
by any means necessary.
Just don't screw up,
Nagisa.
I heard that Nagisa is headed for E Class.
Ooh. Well, that's it for him.
I'm gonna delete his contact info.
Me, too. Can't have people thinking we're on the same level!
I'm back!
H-Hello, sir...
What's with the missile?
A souvenir.
The Self-Defense Force was waiting for me in the Sea of Japan.
I-It must be terrible, being a target.
Not at all. You know you're powerful when everyone has it in for you.
Now let's begin fifth period.
Yes, sir.
He doesn't understand.
If you're everyone's assassination target,
that means they all acknowledge your power.
A creature like that wouldn't understand what it's like
being unworthy of anyone's expectations or fear,
or even their recognition...
Thanks to you, my evaluation is in the gutter!
The only good thing about it is not having to see you anymore.
I might just be able to kill him.
After all... this teacher can't see me, either.
"Old Campus"
"All Along"
All right, then,
compose a short poem to go along with our theme.
The final line should be "was tentacles all along."
Huh?
"Was tentacles all along"?
Indeed!
When you're finished, bring them to me.
I'm looking for proper grammar
and whether you've conveyed the tentacle's beauty.
An example:
"Not the storm of garden's snow / of flowers moving on
But sprouting there instead / was tentacles all along."
"It was tentacles"? Really?
Once you're done, you're free to go home!
How are we gonna write about that?
Now, now--aren't any marvelously slithery phrases coming to mind?
Slither slither slither slither!
--Enough with the slithering! --Slither slither slither slither!
I have a question!
Ah--yes, Kayano?
This is a weird question to ask now, but... what's your name?
How else can we tell what teacher we're talking about?
My... name?
Now that you mention it...
...he never did tell us.
Hmm... I don't really have the kind of name you tell people.
Go ahead and give me one.
You sure about that?
But right now, focus on your schoolwork.
Yes, sir.
Meanwhile, I'll just take a little break.
Finished already, Nagisa?
After lunch, right around the time we get sleepy,
his face sometimes goes light pink.
He was a little slow responding to Kayano's question, too.
That might be when he's at his most vulnerable.
Us prep-school failures are always thinking,
"We gotta get back at 'em somehow."
You can do it if you try.
That's what our parents and friends and teachers say.
You can do it if you try.
I told you: be more inventive!
We have to prove ourselves...
...by any means necessary.
Yesss!
We did it!
--Ten billion yen! Cha-ching! --Nagisa!
Serves you right!
Terasaka!
What have you done?!
Bet he never expected a suicide bomber!
Hey!
What'd you give Nagisa?!
Huh? A toy grenade.
But I beefed it up with gunpowder
so it'd shoot three hundred anti-Sensei bullets
at crazy-high speed!
They're not strong enough to kill anybody.
My ten billion yen'll cover his medical bi--
He's not hurt? Not even a single burn?
And... this membrane...
--is attached to that octopus's corpse? --As it happens,
I shed my skin once a month.
I protected Nagisa there by covering him with my old skin.
It's my once-monthly ace in the hole.
Terasaka, Yoshida, Muramatsu.
You don't have to look at the color of his face to know.
Pitch black! He is furious!
You three...
...you're behind this, yes?
N-No!
It was all Nagisa's idea!
He's gone!
"Yoshida" "Terasaka" "Muramatsu"
The nameplates off our houses?!
My agreement with your government says I won't harm you.
But if you try another assassination like that one...
"Shiota" But if you try another assassination like that one...
"Takebayashi" "Hazama" "Shiota" "Sugaya" ...I might just harm someone else.
Your family, your friends...
Or I could wipe out the whole planet apart from you.
Five seconds, and we all knew:
There was no running to the ends of the Earth for us.
If we really wanted to run...
...all we could do... was kill him!
What the hell's your deal, anyway?
You're just a giant pain!
Showing up all "I'm gonna blow up Earth" and "Assassinate me"!
What's so wrong with using an annoying method to kill an annoying guy?!
Annoying? Hardly. Your idea itself was a very good one.
Especially you, Nagisa.
The way you carried yourself so naturally on your approach gets full marks.
You made it right through the chink in my defenses.
However!
None of you looked out for Nagisa, not even Nagisa himself.
Students like that aren't fit to assassinate anyone.
We need an assassination worth smiling about--one to be proud of!
You're all capable assassins who have that power within you.
Some advice from your teacher and your target.
Chewed out at Mach 20, then praised with waving tentacles...
This unusual education
made me pretty happy.
All because this unusual teacher
was actually
looking at us head-on.
If you...
If you would give your time,
go teach those children.
What splendid tentacles...
With hands like these... I'm sure you'll be a splendid teacher.
Here's a question for you, Nagisa:
I have not the slightest intention of being killed.
I will enjoy my time with you all until next March,
and then blow Earth up.
If you don't like it, what are you going to do about it?
We've never assassinated anyone before,
and there's plenty of other stuff we should be doing.
But you know...
I think this teacher
might even accept my bloodlust.
Before you destroy Earth... I'll kill you.
Then do it now!
Once you've killed me, you're free to go home!
Just like that, huh?
You know we can't kill you!
We are killers. And our target
is our teacher.
--Wipe, wipe, wipe it clean! --Even if we shot him now...
...we'd just be polished up like those nameplates.
We're never going home!
An unkillable teacher...
"Korosenai"... "koro"...
Oh! How about "Koro Sensei"?
Koro Sensei?
It's us and Koro Sensei,
in our assassination classroom.
Another day, another class bell rings.
I still remember the shooting star
I saw last night--I was waiting for...
Hello, shooting star
Hello, shooting star again
She's been waiting
That dreaming girl has been here
All this time, ah ah
Just like she was that day, ah ah
Shine again